Sometimes you’ve gotta stop being so stubborn in order to change your life for the better.
How long have i not blogged ? I missed blogging so much. Bought a new laptop recently & it felt great to finally have something i can call my own. :) Recently, i've been thinking a lot about my studies next year and life in Perth. Pretty afraid of being alone there since sis is continuing her studies in Brisbane which is a totally new place for her too. All the best sis. Study hard in achieving your dream :) Time flew so quickly and i'm about to leave my parents for a whole year. I'm so used to seeing them everyday..but i know all these are steps i must take in order to grow up. Being pampered felt good, but i can't keep depending on my parents to do everything for me can I.
Made lots of mistakes this year, but I've learnt and I promise not to repeat them again :) Though 2011 is not over yet, I have to say it has been a wonderful yet dreadful year for me. Why dreadful ? Because i've lost someone very very dearly to me, my grandmother. Never knew that there will be a day she'll eventually leave my side. It's just too soon to accept the fact that she left. She really did. She watched me grow and took care of me since i was born. But I just didn't care enough. She woke up early every morning around 6 am just to see me off to school and stood by the door to greet me home from school at the evening. She never failed to ask me "Have you eaten?" everyday I got back from school. She loved me that much.
I didn't spare much time to chat with her even when i was free. What was i doing then? Busy surfing webs all night. Until one day, she constantly fell sick. That was the time when I started worrying about her health. I started cherishing her more because I really missed her absence when she stayed in the hospital for weeks. I started visiting her very often and brought her food as well. I held her hand and asked her if she's okay. Everytime I asked that question, she'll always say that she's fine and advised me to take care of her belongings in her room. After she was discharged from the hospital, she stayed in my aunty's house because it was easier for her to walk around.
I visited her often until few months before my Trial exam, I stopped because I thought she was perfectly okay and was too caught up with my own things. I couldn't be bothered. During that period, she got admitted into the hospital several times & the number of times I visited her decreased. The last time i visited her was at my aunty's house, a week before she got admitted into the hospital again.
I regretted that a lot. I should've known she was lonely and I should've been more concerned for her. One early Sunday morning, I received a call from my mum. Before answering the phone, I knew something important happened. When i answered, I heard my mum crying, til she could hardly utter a word, but I managed to hear what she said. I was shocked and couldn't believe it. I didn't even get to see her for the last time. Attending her funeral was the saddest moment I've been through.
But I believe that she has went to a better place, she doesn't need to suffer anymore. & that God has better plans for her. Always remember that I love you, Grandma. You'll always stay in my heart and I promise you, I'll study hard and make you proud.
